Service Announcement for Men Everywhere:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner Babe?
SAFER: May I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here Honey, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you really wearing that?
SAFER: Oh baby, let me look at you!
SAFEST: Wow, you're sexy in brown!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about now?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: I understand Sweetie, have some wine, and tell me all about it.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: We still have the apples you like in the kitchen.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: Man Sugar, I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more wine.

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13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

and we can't forget this one:

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
...Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!