Sign sign everywhere a sign

Sign seen outside a Lasik Surgury Center (I may or may not have put it there)

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye"

By the way, I absolutely hate the word 'sign'. Its spelling is repulsive. What's wrong with the trigonmetric function spelling? Sine... Sure, it implies mathematics. Sure, it invokes fear into the hearts of the masses, but what the heck am I here for if not to confuse and obfuscate?

The Randomness Vol. 1

(Steve0)

Here are some little random moments from my workplace:

1.) Things the annoying lady says... without provocation...

"I bought a carton of Newports for 33 dollars in Fargo... I had to drive an hour just to get there, but it was worth the price."

Who knows what insanity lies in the hearts of men?


The SteveO knows.



2.) Okay, today's random comment. And believe me, it was hard to contain myself when I heard this one. Started coughing just so I wouldn't laugh out loud.

"I need a meat mallet"

3.) It happened early this morning, and maybe there will be another today. It's happened before.

"You know the Byerly's in Golden Valley? They sell cake by the slice."

Hope you all have a great day!

-steveO

The Incredibles

(Steve O)

I'm sure you've seen this movie, because everyone has and it's worth watching at least a dozen times.

Okay, now I've got that out of the way. Do you remember the lady that was in the movie being help by Mr. Incredible in the insurance cubes? He told her what NOT to do so she could get things taken care of (actually, on a side-note, insurance companies really seem to be that evil. It's like they randomly decide that a person forgot to sign some form and pretend they don't exsist for a few months hoping they won't call them to find out what's going on).

Back on track. There's a lady at work here who is the exact human personification of that woman... minus about 20 years of age, but still. She has that shaky old-woman voice that's very, very unsure and always intimidated by everyone, even the best of friends.

Oh, I wish she'd say those words, "But I'm on a fixed income!!!"

You're SICK SteveO, SICK, SICK SICK!!!

-steveO

Motion Sickness

(Steve O)

Some genius at work here decided to give anybody who wanted to participate in some walking competition to raise money, or health awareness or something of that sort has decided to give out free pedometers.

Apparently they claimed that these large women who work on my floor will some how loose weight if they take just another 2 or 3 thousand steps a day. Well, these women who want to loose their massive fatnesses are to dang lazy to actually go outside and walk during lunch. So what are they doing??? They're thundering around the 4th floor every few minutes because they don't think they'll ever get their quota done for the day after work.

What on earth does this have to do with motion sickness?

This building was apparently not meant to withhold the stampeding appendage-balls that may only scientifically be classified as nothing other than women. They "run" by and my monitor trembles. My chair raises and lowers at an inconsistent frequency and amplitude. One> could communicate with the other side of the world with vibrations of these proportions. In fact, I would not be surprised if China has mis-interpreted our attempts at friendship and prepares for nuclear war. I can only hope that the people of the 3rd floor are not crapping their pants as the dust falls from the ceilings and the steel-girds creak and moan under the stress.

It is a wonder that the civil defense alarms have not already sounded their cry.

-steveo